Oh, c’mon – hit me – please …
Early on in exploring BDSM I learned that dominant people aren’t sadistic. I have no interest in them. But I also discerned that sadism sometimes developes over time, emerges to the top’s own surprise. Oh my God I love him but I also love to hurt him!
And some sadist and dominant persons are uncertain in their topping. Kind and humane they bend over backwards trying to be just and balanced. It isn’t that they don’t want to take what they can have. They aren’t sure that they should.
Speaking from the bottom half of the power exchange I can’t help but feel that – if you have these feelings – you should probably overcome them. Reasonably and sensibly but pushing yourself a little bit.
You may be frustrating yourself and your submissive masochistic partner. Uncertainty can make it harder for the bottom to fall into the submissive emotional state. And he may – unknowingly – resent not getting the depth of submission and/or pain that he feels he needs.
I know there have been times when I would have submitted more happily if the top’s demand overcame the inital inertia. Sometimes a submissive person really does need – and ultimately want – to be pushed.
Not that you should be an out of control top. As alway those who need to worry won’t. Those who do feel concern can relax.
This isn’t what I wanted to blog about. But it passed through my mind when I chose the photo for different entry.
* Actually I know this issue affects female tops. I can’t assume that it is also an issue for some male sadists as well.
Originally posted 2013-09-19 02:13:50.