Written as a reply to a question:
Illustration by Juan Puyal.
I think you’ll find that verbal humiliation is one of those things that grows easier as you do it. (BTW, I’m a fan of switches and interested in BDSM as erotic play, not a lifestyle.)
The most common form of spoken degradation is to attack the guy’s masculinity. Telling him that he’s a sissy, a bitch, wimp. Some men get a thrill out of having the size of their penises mocked. None of this works for me personally but this is the most popular kind of harsh talking.
Related is men who want to be condemned because of their gender. They are inferior because they are male.
Slut seems to be a frequent word. Again, not for me. But it always implies the man has a sexually healthy appetite in a backhanded way.
Much spoken humiliation is fairly generic: “You are worthless!”
From my own perspective what you say only matters so much. It is the harsh or sarcastic tone that sends my spinal column into a frenzy.
Some tops fear seeming too theatrical, stiff and fake. If a man is feeling submissive he isn’t usally in the mood to practice literary criticism. He just helplessly responds.
Generally I think it is a bad idea to humiliate someone for something that genuinely troubles him in everyday life. E.g., if he’s overweight. A very few find it therapeutic. But unless you are sure you may kill the scene, even the relationship.
What you know about him will really be your guide.
You don’t seem like the kind of person who needs to be reminded of aftercare. This can be a really deep form of power exchange.
Original context: Creativity & Variety in D/s
Originally posted 2016-01-24 20:56:37.