I’ll call him Master Taboo: he boasts that he is one of the most dark, taboo and sadistic men on the planet.

He’s a heterosexual male dominant whose profile I’ve been following for a few weeks. It changes often. I wish I’d thought to clip some of his more notable statements.

What originally caught my attention: after a brutal S&M session a woman asked for ice cream. This seems to have sent the man into a fit of rage. How dare his slave feel anything other than suffering and shame.

OK, tops do get ticked off at too abrupt a mood change after a scene. But Master Taboo seems to expect his female slaves to feels degraded and abject every second of every day. I.e., he’s the sort of forgets that a slave is a human being however much he may find pleasure in objectifying her.

My thought was that he could give her some ice cream but make her eat it from a bowl on the floor. (My former beloved would’ve dropped it on the floor. No bowl.) He could’ve turned feeding her ice cream into part of the session.

For a longish time his profile was typical of the kind of top who bitches that there are no real slaves. No woman who met with him was willing to continue seeing him. They all fall short of his exalted standards. He isn’t attractive. He doesn’t sound like an especially gifted sadist. But he expects his fantasy made flesh.

More recently Master Taboo has taken to ranting at people who’ve written to him saying that he’s an abuser. I’m agnostic as to the truth of that. But he seems the kind of dominant who might well lose control.

Early on his profile declared that models and pretty women were tired of men catering them. An ugly man’s fondest dream. Now he says they make terrible slaves. He’s cashed one reality check.

I like dark sadists. Just not the delusional ones.

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Elsewhere I’ve criticized and suggested ways in which submissive guys might improve their profiles and personal ads. But many dominant (men) are just as bad.

I wouldn’t bother to bitch about tops who don’t know the difference between dominant and dominate. Or the men who think the ellipsis a universal punctuation mark.

What startles me is the (hope to be) Masters who post a profile and obviously never look at it a second time.

There’s a fellow who claims to be searching for a 14/7 relationship. I don’t believe his profile. I bet he really wants a 24/7 slave.

Another top must have copied and pasted his profile text from a word-processing program. What he wants a potential submissive person to read is interlarded with the sort of metadata that you get from MS Word and the like.

Both of these profiles have been up for a long stretch. The author of neither has never gone back to read what he wrote. As the frustration of not hearing from anyone continues each probably feels picked on by fate.

Speaking for my own branch of submissive masochist: one thing that a top must inspire is respect. Not writing a minimally intelligible, readable profile is a sure way to prevent respect from ever developing.

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When I original read this guy’s profile I thought it a very good example of a positive profile by a likeable top. But there was nothing that could be cleanly excerpted.

Then he wrote me:

Although some others on this site similarly indicate that is what they are looking for, most of them only want one time meetings as such or only in role playing situation.

Your Hard limits seem reasonable and mean while your soft limits seem flexible enough that I believe we might be compatible.

I want you to read my profile, and keeping in mind that although I list several interests I clearly state that none of them are mandatory.

After reading it take the time to write back to me and let me know if you agree that we MIGHT be compatible.

None of that off-putting manner by strangers who think writing “Tell SIR why you should be allowed to become His worthless scum slave property” is a way to say hello.

The guy I quote above doesn’t drive, nor do I so nothing will come of that.

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Because my sexuality is fluid and mercurial I can say many different – even seemingly contradictory – things about my desires and needs that are all conditionally true.

In my online profiles I’ve tried various strategies for honestly capturing my sexual and affectional orientations. To be honest without confusing or overtaxing the reader.

A proper profile for myself as a submissive and masochistic man would need to be a small website of about twenty pages. Since my changes are slim I’ve never actually put out the effort to construct such. (Though I did create one consisting of several pages in the time shortly before Charles.)

What you may get out of my profiles is contingent on your expectations, inclinations and patience.

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Before I go on let me give you a little personal history.

My masochism and submissiveness grew in me even as a boy. But I was always too timid to take the risk of being in another’s power, being tied up. How I wish I’d overcome that earlier in life.

Since then I’ve had a relationship of which BDSM was a key part. In it I learned the satisfaction of letting go of my ego, surrendering my will, of adoring another. Once after a longish separation when I was down on my hands and knees performing boot worship I broke into tears because I was so happy.

Before that, several years ago I placed my first BDSM personal ads on the web. I did meet one amazing dominant sadist. I wish I’d dropped to my knees and kissed his boots the day I met him. But he was so polite I didn’t know if he would be interested in me. Instead I wound up in a vanilla relationship with someone else that makes the most intense sadomasochism seem tame.

My BDSM relationship ended because of practical issue. How I miss getting beaten and sitting on the floor.

Who am I looking for? A sadist I can respect and trust. Respect is the cornerstone of being able to surrender. By trust I don’t mean that you aren’t a maniac. I need someone who can protect me from insuring myself: I sometimes become non-verbal, even slip into a submissive trance and get confused by danger, e.g., a piece of broken glass.

More extensive and subtle issues of compatibility can only be resolved by conversation – email or in person – I’m very verbal, perhaps exasperatingly so. I do have fetishes. I don’t expect you to satisfy them unless you want to. Without your desire they aren’t worth pursuing. But for a relationship of any depth I expect the dominant to learn about me. Hopefully that information would be to the top’s benefit.

Bondage is very meaningful for me. Physical helplessness helps spark deeper submissive feelings. The inescapable limitation of chains is oddly comforting.

What do I want? To be able to meet with someone on a regular basis. When we are together, be it for a couple of hours or a weekend/week, I do what you command.

What about 24/7, lifestyle, Owner Supremacy? That requires a rare level of compatibility. Rare enough even among vanilla relationships. Certainly I’d like to find that. If possible.

I’m open to many different styles including Old Guard. I accept that protocols and rituals may be required. That I may need training and conditioning the better to behave as an inferior creature. So much is in unknowable details that they are better left to when a mutual interest has been established.

There is more to me than my slavishness and masochism. That may or may not matter to you depending on exactly what you are looking for. But people find long profiles tiring and more can be communicated later if there is justification.

Please understand that I do not cyber or engage in D/s role-playing online. An unknown stranger is not Owner. A bully isn’t a Master. The latter’s control of another stems from ability and talent. More than just an assertion. And I say that as a man who deeply desires to be on his hands and knees with his head bowed in reverent submission to one he honors as his superior.
The bad news:

I’m one of those people you read about who lost their house. I live in a house with my best and oldest friend. There isn’t much privacy when he is home.

I suffer from COPD. That means among other things that I have periods where I’m a bit weak. Though this has improved much over what it was like just a few months ago.

I’m fat. There’s no excuse for that. The hellish relationship mentioned above and the rotten health of last year contributed to this status. If only because of my health concerns I am slowly losing weight but we’re talking about a very long time. This is probably one of the reasons I fantasize about food control and starvation play.

My expectations are minimal. It doesn’t cost anything to try.

If you have any questions please ask. If you are into financial domination don’t waste your time.

Thanks for reading the profile. Best of luck to you in your own question for fulfillment.

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I’m hoping to meet someone who would enjoy hurting me on a regular or semi-regular basis.

Consensually inflicted pain and suffering makes me happy (if only the day after).

I’m open to S&M with or without role-playing and psychodrama. Dominance, a suggestion of violence or meanness can boost my masochism. I’m open to fantasy play scenarios. But not monomaniacs interested in, say, only nipple torture.

But just mutually exploring the effect of certain practices can be lots of fun.

Sadomasochistic play can be performed in many ways: high drama, playfully. S&M can even be hilarious at times. (Nothing like having someone weight your testicles by filling a bucket with potatoes.)

My experience has been limited to one LTR (now ended). There’s lots we never tried or explored in depth.

I’d like to try many things. But I don’t want a top to feel that I’m expecting to be serviced. Without the sadist’s delight I lose my masochistic superpower to process pain as pleasure. (Honestly – I think I erotized being spanked when I was eight – I like being hit so much I could imagine asking for a whipping as a favor.)

An experienced sadist has technique and knowledge of safety. A novice has lots of curiosity and an eagerness to try things. Either is welcome.

I’m only looking for someone who wants to do this on a steady basis. S&M is enriched by a growing mutual awareness.

I don’t drive. I also use a machine to provide extra oxygen. That isn’t as limiting as you might think. But I haven’t done any S&M with it. I can’t see why it would interfere with a caning or cbt.

Even worse: I’m fat. (Oops there you went!) And the trauma that caused this is no longer an even half-assed excuse. (Obviously I need a TPE with heavy dietary restrictions.)

Kinks and fetishes include: Abrasion, Bondage, Boot worship, CBT, Corporal punishment, Depersonalization, Face slapping, Genitorment, Hair pulling, Testicle bondage.

Hard Limits: C/capitalization protocol. Married men. Blood, breath play, cigars, diapers, feminization, fisting, scat, tickling. Public scenes or involving third parties. Soft Limits: anal insertables, enemas, plastic wrap and wax. I know safewords disappoint but being prepared for unforeseen emergencies seems wise. I don’t think of my submissive orientation as making me part of a lifestyle and have no interest in public venues.

Good humor and intelligence are joys.

Cruelty is cool. Typing in ALL CAPS isn’t. (And it is self-defeating. Studies show text in which all the words are capitalized is less likely to be read.)

I don’t role-play online. Ever. I resist chatting because of my repetitive stressed out fingers. Email is a better initial stage of communication.

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In my opinion a Master is completed by his slave/pup – a successful Master is a Master who shapes his slave into reflecting his personality and brings out the features of the slave that enhances these. An owner who has the ability to be everything for his slave, who can take over the slave’s free will and make him totally submit to the slave life, that a true slave ultimately seeks: being fully owned and stripped of free will as well as not having to make any choices in his personal life.

Imagine having to be everything for someone. Only a egomaniac – or a hopelessly naïve person – could imagine achieving that status.

Hence a successful Master has embraced and acknowledged his superiority and wants to share his life with an inferior person. Such a Master will know his desired direction and means to get where he wants to go with his life. With him, in this process, make sure the slave works in the same direction, and pursues the same goals as his Master.

It is always important to remember: superiority is granted by the Department of Poetic Licenses, which are invalid in real space-time.

A slave is not a slave if not owned by a master! A successful slave is – in my opinion – a man who has willingly given up his freedom and free will, to a person who is his superior. A successful slave will go through fire and ice for his Master. He is fully obedient as he knows the Master will know best. The success in itself is not as much the submission, but the full acceptance and embracement of the mentality of the submissive within. The slave should be ready to totally submit on all levels, and give up every aspect of free will and let his Master be in charge of him with no exceptions!

Will the Master also plow through fire and ice for the slave? How is this different from any over-the-top relationship? This is what husbands and wives have been promising one another for ages. Sometimes they even do it.

A successful slave has eliminated every concept of self and embraced his Master and his Masters will totally.

Not being a Buddhist the idea of eliminating sense of self sounds disturbing. This kind of psychologically untenable expectation is just a disaster waiting to happen.

A successful Master slave relation is a relation where the Master respects the choice of the slave, and gives his slave meaning with the pursuit of becoming his object. Where the slave respects and obeys the master, and where the Master becomes more and more incorporated into the slave until the slave is no longer an individual, but has become an extension of his owner. A symbiosis, where both parts achieve the completion of what is ultimately the natural state of mind: the unification of two individual life’s into a higher state of life.

No longer an individual. Just a little slave robot with no personality. I’ve always been irked by all this higher state species of chatter. It just means the writer’s penis gets hard when he thinks of all this. And erections – like being drunk or stoned – often make men feel they are having or picturing experiences special profundity.

I don’t think the Master who wrote this is a bad person. A bit silly. And perhaps hoping for a relationship where any reason for insecurity, possibility of failure has been eliminated.

Not that I don’t understand the appeal – on both sides. But only fools forget that interpersonal entanglements are complicated, subject to capricious acts of god, health and so many other things.

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Several times a guy pushing a “Family Commune” has attempted to attract my attention. The profile he has posted on behalf of the Master he no longer reads with is fairly long.

It opens like a cross between a bad self-help book and an invitation to join the local Baptist church:

Are you tired of living alone?
Are you yearning to belong…and to be part of a family?
Are you a caring, nurturing person and wish you had ‘something bigger’ to contribute to?

Are you emotionally vulnerable? A target for schemes?

Master is currently searching for a very nice, upscale place in beautiful South Florida to form a small and S-A-N-E family / commune / community.
There will be some nice rooms to rent to a few select, natural servant / slave / sub type men.

He is looking to buy a house and to find some suckers to make the mortgage payments?

Of course, you will keep your regular 9-5 life. And you will have your personal space and time.
However, your dedication to your family commune should come first.

Of course the cult will be the priority.

And though this is a roommate situation, there will still be some structure; like domestic duties, fellowship, eating and outings together, etc.
And, if you wish, assisting Master! (I had the honor and pleasure to do that for some time. How wonderful that was.)

So you only have to serve Master if you want to.

An ideal candidate must be submissive, humble, honest, and dedicated to serving.

Someone that can be pushed around?

You could possibly be there part-time only (ex. weekends) but you would have to pay full rent, as you would still have your own room available to you anytime.

The main thing is pay the rent.

ABOUT YOU:

First, truly wanting to belong and be part of a family situation must be a priority.

You should be desperate, needy.

Be easy to be around and able to fit in with your new family. And you must be spiritually open.

Open to what Pentecostalism? Human sacrifice?

Family combined with commune makes me think of Charles Manson. Probably not that kind of thing going on here. Though there are so many cunning and disreputable people who come up with imaginative ways to bilk people …

Really it sounds like an attempt to get a bunch of submissive guys to make someone’s house payments. I’ve seen other online profiles by men that are obviously hoping to manipulate for profit slave-identified males.

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The top’s profile had a reasonable feel at first. The man seemed reasonable and mature. A bit ambiguous but it can be tough to both be specific and keep a range of options open when writing a profile.

When he got to outlining what he wanted in a slave it was the usual 24/7, total slave, no limits razzmatazz. But in summarizing his slave’s life there was an element that stood out starkly:

No future.

Now that seems a terrible thing to expect from someone or to want to subject anyone to.

Not that I was sure what he meant. My guess was that his slave would not grow, progress, develop, evolve: change in any way. Enslavement as a sort of personal stasis.

To be fair the inner life of many people freezes. They become unchanging bores. And spend the rest of their days in front of the TV set.

But I can’t imagine a submissive person with any creativity, spirit – real interest in life signing up for a form of slavery that entails anything like the lack of a future.

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The appeal for my submissive side of wearing a mask with slots for eyes is in imagining that the top can’t see who I am and might forget that it is not just some generic slave. The loss of identity contributes to a sense of unimportance.

That is fantasy, though it could be made part of those wonderful psychodramas where top and bottom conspire to suspend belief.

Recently I read a profile in which the master stated that his slave would have no individuality. That typifies perfectly something that is wrong with many D/s profiles and personal ads. The pretence that top and bottom, master/mistress and slave are interchangeable parts in a BDSM machine.

The master just wants “total obedience” and many a slave claims to offer just that. A few favorite fetishes might be mentioned but otherwise there are no specifics. No reason for one to want to meet the other than a specific role is filled.

The top as well as the bottom becomes s creature without individuality.

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