This morning I was reading Gibbon’s account of early Christian monasticism. For once his lofty irony seemed suspended. Lives of self-imposed dreariness, voluntary surrender to petty, pettifogging authority was obviously alien to him. People chose to submit to experiences normally the province of the worst sort of tyranny.

Sounds like some of the D/s profiles I’ve read.

I’ve meant to quote some of the good personal ads I’ve seen written by tops. But I get distracted and forget to copy them. Thinking back a few of the best I’ve read was strong in a quality not often associated with personals: good-humor.

The best profiles show good-natured empathy. I especially admire profiles by dominants that show appreciation of the needs and complications of submissive people. Maybe make a witty aside or two. You are reading the words of someone who seems complete, not just a role.

I don’t think tops need to remind us all that much that they want to be in control. We know that. And those of us who are submissive want them to take that control.

It may be a little harder for a submissive man or woman to show their good humor and wit. Too often writing a personal ad can seem like a burdensome balancing act as you try to present yourself accurately while feeling reluctant to accidentally drive someone away with a sentence not fully understood.

BDSM profiles will be all the better for exhibiting good-natured personality.

See also: Lifestyle

In reading the weary words of dominant women back from their latest round of reading replies to their personal ads they often mention pathetic spelling, piteous grammar and inadequate composition skills of the submissive guys that offer themselves.

Sadly none of these are likely to be English professors seeking an obscure form of humiliation.

If my recollection is aright one of their most common complaints is that the guys say they are looking for a dominate rather than dominant woman.

My recent survey of BDSM personals has revealed to me that too large a number of tops call themselves dominate men, couples, etc.

I’m the last person to join the grammar and spelling Gestapo but … !

It diminishes - Hell, it chokes - my sense of submission when someone I might surrender to can’t get right something so elementary. I’m not anxious to be fussy. Take no pleasure in being pedantic.

But I’d be ever so grateful it you could correct this.