(From February 2007.)
Stop sex! Stop it now!
Originally posted 2013-06-08 12:37:39.
People are famously uncomfortable with extreme romantic and sexual neediness: it is the polar opposite of an aphrodisiac.
Is your hunger for a dominant something that radiates from you? Is your desire to find one something you can’t help but talk about in fetish venues? On your blog and in your emails and IMs?
That – more than anything else – may be sabotaging your search.
If you are a single submissive person your desires are a given: they don’t need to be spoken of. Try to relax and keep your inner-nagging out of sight.
Originally posted 2015-12-20 23:19:52.
I’ve posted a fair amount of BDSM dating advice elsewhere, no reason to stop now.
Do not work on your profiles and personal ads when you are sexually aroused. Seriously. If you are feeling horny go masturbate before writing. Otherwise you are apt to make promises you can’t keep and get caught up in stressing specific fetishes more than you mean to. To write a good personal advertisement you need to find a happy medium between being aware of your needs and almost clinical detachment from them.
You want to let your passion shine through but with enough impartiality to show you are capable of coping with those passions with some degree of reason.
Neither neediness nor mania is attractive.
Be honest and balanced.
Originally posted 2014-01-11 15:42:55.
Not having as much time for the fetish blogosphere as I once did I don’t run across as many bogus Femdom blogs as I once did.
Tweo that I’ve recently read have been almost archetypal instances of phony female domination: submissive men writing as dominant woman. And focus the trinity of their species: cuckoldry, sissyfication and extreme orgasm denial.
Because the author as created a virtual private universe the fake blogs have an internal consistency that can almost fool you.
One detail often gives the game away: panties.
Women who enjoy lingerie write of their attire with aestheticism and lyricism. The men I’m thinking of write mechanically.
For them panties aren’t something lovely. They are the master key to their obsession.
Not that I’m going to upbraid them for writing porn as fact. They are victims of their compulsion.
Originally posted 2013-08-20 00:05:01.
I know that many find black backgrounds enchanting. I have a couple with dark background color. But that is only because I’m lazy. Eventually I’ll switch them to white backgrounds.
My ViewSonic monitor’s brightness diminished within a year of my buying it. But long before I’d often found myself frustrated and annoyed by low contrast websites. Especially those with small text and inappropriate fonts.
There are blogs can barely read and never linked to because of the eyestrain.
If your goal is to look ‘cool’ do what pleases you. If you want to be read understand that the big commercial sites have spent literally millions of dollars making sure that black on white is what most readers want.
Originally posted 2013-06-20 17:57:15.
Since I sometimes use vintage homoerotic Leatherman photographs here I thought I’d point out that one of my other sites sometimes features Gay Male BDSM art and photography. You’ll have to dig through the appropriate category archives.
Originally posted 2012-12-28 17:42:06.
I am always looking for Femdom and BDSM artwork from my image sites.