Entries Tagged 'Personal Ads & Profiles' ↓

Boys! Men! You too can turn male dominance into a profitable business model!

Own or run a successful business… but you are a sub?

I am a professional, clean cut Dom, very capable, with a taste for power and control.

Bring me on your staff, at a reasonable salary, give me the title of my choice, and I will work at home.

A nature so giving is almost unbearable.

Dept. of standard patter:

What I require is ultimate respect and obedience. Anything less than that will NOT be tolerated - EVER.

Only 1 will serve me. Terms are for life. You will be exclusively mine to experiment, and do with as I wish.

This would be clever if he were likely to find someone so foolish. EVER!

‘Comment’ left on one of my sites that focuses on female tops and male bottoms:

Dominant male looking for submissive female

That kind of aimless cluelessness is one quality that I don’t want in a dominant. I’m sure most submissive women agree.

This morning I was reading Gibbon’s account of early Christian monasticism. For once his lofty irony seemed suspended. Lives of self-imposed dreariness, voluntary surrender to petty, pettifogging authority was obviously alien to him. People chose to submit to experiences normally the province of the worst sort of tyranny.

Sounds like some of the D/s profiles I’ve read.

I’ve meant to quote some of the good personal ads I’ve seen written by tops. But I get distracted and forget to copy them. Thinking back a few of the best I’ve read was strong in a quality not often associated with personals: good-humor.

The best profiles show good-natured empathy. I especially admire profiles by dominants that show appreciation of the needs and complications of submissive people. Maybe make a witty aside or two. You are reading the words of someone who seems complete, not just a role.

I don’t think tops need to remind us all that much that they want to be in control. We know that. And those of us who are submissive want them to take that control.

It may be a little harder for a submissive man or woman to show their good humor and wit. Too often writing a personal ad can seem like a burdensome balancing act as you try to present yourself accurately while feeling reluctant to accidentally drive someone away with a sentence not fully understood.

BDSM profiles will be all the better for exhibiting good-natured personality.

See also: Lifestyle

Actually for me a sadist’s profile can be one of the most sexy documents imaginable.

I don’t mean it needs to be all hot and slobbery. It needn’t go on at extended length about the particulars that thrill her or him.

A concise summation of the enjoyment that an intelligent and interesting person takes in making someone they find worth knowing hurt and suffer is plenty. Not that a few extra bits that captures the cheerful cruelty his willing suspension of autonomy isn’t welcome.

A good profile by a top can keep me from getting a good night’s sleep.

A very fair trade.

It is a common topic. I’ve certainly added my two cents. Probably often enough for it to add up to a quarter.

I’m talking about finding fault with bottoms’ responses to profiles.

Tops can be just as annoying.

A couple of responses to my own profiles brought this to mind. The first was so nutty that I just dismissed it. The second was more plausible. Neither I’ve decided were aimed at communication.

Occasionally I get comments from distant tops writing to say they like my profile and wishing me luck. The couple of responses I’m thinking of expressed interest even thought they read as if the writer hadn’t actually read my profile. The latter I’ve decided were aimed at eliciting passionate replies in which I steamily wrote of all the awful things I wanted done to me. To write porn for them to wank to.

This reminded me of a local top I’d communicated with some years back. I liked him well enough to give him my home phone number. He said I had a very sexy voice. This I’ll unblushingly confess didn’t cause me a second thought because I often heard that from women when I did survey research. It was near the end of what proved to be our final chat that I realized what was innocent chat for me was phone sex for him: that he was masturbating as we talked.

I’d be delighted to have someone to write perverse scenarios for but I don’t want to be tricked into it.

They want you to be their love robot.

In a comment on my note about frustratingly vague profiles AlmostMagic mentioned the guys who have overly precise scripts they expect the top to follow.

The best such profile I recall has been my benchmark for too much specificity for years.

Not only did he know that he’d be ‘forced’ to wear a dress. He also knew it would be a green dress. And that air would blow up from a vent on the left side. A top has to be a bit of a stage manager at times but that is just too damn much.

In reading the weary words of dominant women back from their latest round of reading replies to their personal ads they often mention pathetic spelling, piteous grammar and inadequate composition skills of the submissive guys that offer themselves.

Sadly none of these are likely to be English professors seeking an obscure form of humiliation.

If my recollection is aright one of their most common complaints is that the guys say they are looking for a dominate rather than dominant woman.

My recent survey of BDSM personals has revealed to me that too large a number of tops call themselves dominate men, couples, etc.

I’m the last person to join the grammar and spelling Gestapo but … !

It diminishes - Hell, it chokes - my sense of submission when someone I might surrender to can’t get right something so elementary. I’m not anxious to be fussy. Take no pleasure in being pedantic.

But I’d be ever so grateful it you could correct this.

Not having given alt.com a dime I haven’t done more than browse the locals and read my LoveDog mismatch reports.

Imagine going to a news site and reading a headline proclaiming Something Happened or Today Isn’t Yesterday.

So many profiles just say “looking for something new.” Or “want to try something different.” Really grabs your interest doesn’t it?

Some profile headlines are so badly constructed that someone who sounds like a top proves to really be a bottom who hasn’t the tiniest ability at self-expression.

This vagueness is frustrating. And it seems to apply to the majority of profiles.

I understand that part of it is timidity. Having never dared speak their desires aloud to anyone they are nervous when they sit at their keyboard.

These folks can easily be dismissed as not worth the time. But, you know, I bet many of them are. Or would be if we had a clue as to what they want.

Rather a sad loss.

Some of these so-called masters must spend an awful lot of time reading BDSM porn:

If on the other hand you are looking to become a real Full-Time slave there will never be release or escape from being my property ever again.

(Sorry Jack but this isn’t Gor. Are you hankering to join Glenn Marcus in the federal pen? )

Although I may choose to display you to others , you will never be allowed out in public alone again with out permission except for such as working at a job or other things I will that I may aprove.

At least he doesn’t say he’s compassionate.

There will be no going out alone by yourself merely for you personal pleasure. If you are my full time property

I wonder: has anybody ever called himself Sir 1984?

If I chose to take you to another place for display or use in front of, or require you to service other Masters and slaves, I WILL DO SO

By this time most female submissives will have gone on to read other profiles.

Once you become my property you will have no rights, and no choices or limitss other than those I choose to grant you after disscusing what you feel you realy need.

I’m sure all the girls are just lining up waiting to climb in your cage.

I’ve posted a fair amount of BDSM dating advice elsewhere, no reason to stop now.

Do not work on your profiles and personal ads when you are sexually aroused. Seriously. If you are feeling horny go masturbate before writing. Otherwise you are apt to make promises you can’t keep and get caught up in stressing specific fetishes more than you mean to. To write a good personal advertisement you need to find a happy medium between being aware of your needs and almost clinical detachment from them.

You want to let your passion shine through but with enough impartiality to show you are capable of coping with those passions with some degree of reason.

Neither neediness nor mania is attractive.

Be honest and balanced.

A gay male top in his fifties complete profile:

19 and slim is nice

Another by one in his forties:

looking for 18 years you have no rights .total slut pain slave

I know that yearning. There was an attractive young waif in my store the other day. Ah to be … again.

I write as someone whose last two lovers were over twenty years his junior. Sure that was nice, no reason to lie about it. Their comparative youth made me nervous at first. Turning into a pathetic old chickenhawk isn’t on my list of aspirations.

These older gay masters are fantastically delusional. If you’ve reached that age without being able to distinguish which of your wants are plausible you have doomed yourself to a life of frustration.

Not being able to enjoy someone near your own age leaves you an erotic cripple. You doom yourself to a solitary old age.

Honestly I can’t claim to feel compassion for them. Profiles like that evoke only contempt.

The idea that others may have multiple profiles disturbs some people.

Is this some subtle erotic hypocrisy? Who are we hoping to fool? What do we have to hide?

One advantage of creating alternative profiles and personal ads is to emphasize different aspects of our sexuality.

Many people don’t read past a profile’s heading or first paragraph. Should the profile actually contain more than one. So even if you are strictly submissive but open to both casual play and a serious romantic commitment you may want to insure that you capture the attention of both kinds of searchers. The more a person is open to exploring the more easily confused some people are.

Even the best intended of us may judge a personal ad by too few words.

Switches suffer from a special curse. People often assume that if someone is a switch they want to be both dominant and submissive in every encounter or relationship. That most people are either tops or bottoms is something every switch quickly learns.

Much online reading is hasty: presenting nuanced editions of yourself is about emphasis, not concealment. Who really wants the extra work it requires?