Notice those profiles where the top says they’ve been in the lifestyle for umpty years and this isn’t a game to them.?
Using game as an implicitly understood negative quality brings to mind something that irks me in many D/s personal ads. It implies there’s something wrong with having fun. Too often tops - excuse me, Masters and Mistresses - make kinky relationships sound as dour an enterprise as a Baptist Sunday School service.
Without pleasure, why bother?
As a man who once identified as exclusively queer the word lifestyle makes me cringe. Fundagelicals babble on about the gay lifestyle as if gay men and women went about homosexualizing all day long. As if same sex sexual and affectional orientation defined everything about how their days are lived.
And even if your BDSM relationship is in some sense 24/7 surely you do other things than exchange power all day long. Hopefully there’s room for affection and creativity.
What is the point of BDSM if there’s no romance, beauty or joy?
5 comments ↓
I agree completely. People like that act as if bdsm isn’t supposed to be enjoyable, like it’s just some bland job.
And I love the “homosexualizing” thing; that cracked me up.
I am in agreement too. I adore the fact that I can fall about laughing and draw a smile from Master. I’m sure he needs to hear my joy every bit as much as my pain. And given the very funny things that happen incidentally whilst playing it would as you say be a very dour relationship that couldn’t see the funny side.
[...] ← Lifestyle [...]
Hi! I just came here via Axe’s bloggy blog.
This post rings so true for me!
I want a lover who’s well-rounded–meaning, life for them, isn’t all about me. Or “the scene.” Or “the lifestyle.” Or their job, their art, their family, their shoes, their apartment.
I have found that, contrary to a lot of what people say about having significant others who “have too much going on”, the more things a person cares about, the more that person is capable of caring about me.
I know I’ve gone off on a tangent here, but what I mean to say is that–yes. Romance, beauty and joy. More of it!
Richard,
I would like to say that I just read the interview between yourself and “PD” and I didn’t realize you had a mostly long distance relationship with your Mistress. I have one too, with My slave, though not as far away. I would like to say how much I empathize and understand how difficult it can be. I wish you the best of luck in your relationship and your times apart, as well as your times together.
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